Dr. June Bug Diddums here and for those of you wonderin’, I’m from ‘Mericus, Jawga. I went back and saw my folks for Gobble Day, and read a book while on the toilet. Since most folks read while losing pounds, I developed a Flush system. Memorize and learn for your own use:
FIVE FLUSHES! Gonna hear knocking, cause you lost track a time!
FO’ FLUSHES! Easy flow means at least 3 chapters read!
THREE FLUSHES! Constipation allows 10 to 15 pages of decent readin’!
TWO FLUSHES! Equal to having the runs while on public transportation stuck in traffic!
ONE FLUSH! Like using a public bathroom and then realizing there’s no toilet paper!
The book was Andersonville by Macklinlay Kantor.
The plot gets: ONE FLUSH!
Why? It was all over the place! I wanted to learn more about the civil war prison Andersonville, down in my home town ‘Mericus. What I learnt was the goings on of damned near e’rybody living near the prison! I was pissed cause I already heard most of the stories!
Don’t call a book Andersonville and write over 700 huned pages, but only talk about Andersonville fo’ only two fifty to three huned max!
The characters gets: FIVE FLUSHES!
I gotta give credit where due. The folks were real! Kinda reminded me of my kin (actually, some a them were my kin). The people jumped off the pages!
Overall: TWO FLUSHES!
The title was wrong! Shoulda called it; Civil War Folk and their Goings’ on. I also got one more complaint. The book won the Pulitzer, but Macklinlay doesn’t use quotations. How you posed to know when folks is talking?
I don’ like having to reread to figure out when narrating stops and talking starts. And I still gotta read somethin’ else to find out bout Andersonville the prison. That sucks!