Billiterates Blog Lesson 3 11/5/2017 – 11/11/2017

Dr. June Bug Diddums here, and I have your lesson! Today we’ll learn the history behind rolling papers. You may think you know the 411, but ya don’t!

Kahn Ibis Mohamed was the most prolific trader on the Kush plains. His danka was tops, and everyone traded for Kahn Ibis smokes, as they were known on the Silk Road. Stufi was no different.

After bartering some skins for the heralded inhales, Stu rushed home with the greatest of anticipation. Upon arrival, he was confronted with his beautiful wife, Isis, sweeping up some debris.

Ayana, his mother-in-law, looked at him and her mouth said, “Sorry,” though her eyes said, “Not!” Stu was about to ask, “Sorry for what?”, when he noticed his beloved pipe was the debris. Had the movies been around then, Stu would’ve fallen to his knees and yelled, “Nooooooooo!”

An hour later, Stufi left a poem on papyrus for his Isis. Unfortunately Ayana found it, read it, and burned it. Why? Maybe the words upset her.

T-rex’s are grey-

Sticky icky is brown-

Get rid of Mama-sauraus-

So we can get down!

Stu was preparing to voice his displeasure about the burning papyrus, when the smell crossed his nose. Then the heavens shined down upon him and he smiled. He was soon out back rolling the first one!

So remember Stu Piede, the next time you roll a doobie!

Billiterates Blog Lesson 2 10/29/2017 – 11/4/2017

Dr. June Bug Diddums here and it’s time to learn! For our second lesson, we’ll turn to sports.

Bowling is an enjoyable sport but many aren’t aware of its origin. The early men of Kush were the first to enjoy this pastime. Zuri Piede was the proud warrior leader of his clan. One day, he tried out a new triangular formation as he led his men in attack drills.

His first born Stufi, who everyone called Stu, happened to be picking berries on the hill above. He was popping a berry in his mouth when he tripped. The onlookers present were then entertained as Stu fell forward with arms extended, almost touching his feet, and forming a complete circle.

Gravity and science then took over, as he gained speed with each foot traveled. The men at the bottom of the hill were so focused on their leader, none noticed the careening Stu. Just as Zuri yelled, “Strike!”, Stu crashed into the nearest formation, successfully knocking down every man.

So the next time you get a strike, think of those proud Kush warriors knocked down by Stu Piede.

 

Billiterates Blog Lesson 1 10/22/2017 – 10/28/2017

Welcome Billiterates! This is Dr. June Bug Diddums, noted Notologist (the study of doing nothing) and BSologist (the study of blossoming sunflowers). This is the inaugural post of your reeducation! For years your schooling has been inadequate! Now I’ll bring you the truth you’ve been missing! Each week I’ll reveal never before released facts that the government doesn’t want you to know! So sit back and enjoy your first revelation!

Blinkers are truly a wonderful accessory. They alert other drivers as to your intentions, allowing for a safer driving experience. America started with hand signals before moving on to our electronic friends.

In the twenties in Europe, car makers also started experimenting with blinkers. One of the first companies to do so was Mercedes Benz. All the workers were completely ecstatic at how well they worked! Unfortunately, it was also the last time a blinker was ever used on a Mercedes.